- Unlike baseball, players don’t readjust their testicles before each swing.
- Unlike boxing, players don’t chomp on each others ears or punch them in the groin.
- Unlike tennis, players don’t grunt like Cro Magnon men with each effort.
- Unlike basketball, players don’t elbow each other in the ribs for better position.
- Unlike auto racing, spectators don’t have to breathe noxious fumes or be forced to listen to "The Achy Breaky Song" on the loud speaker.
- Unlike soccer, the fans don’t spit on or trample each other to death if their favorite team loses.
- Unlike bowling, no one knows your shoe size.
- Unlike polo, players don’t need to be smug yuppie aristocratic inbred dweebs.
- Unlike football, players don’t tell the ref to do a physically impossible act to himself.
- Unlike wrestling, spectators have all their teeth.
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